Monday, February 14, 2011

I'm a basket case

UPDATE: 2/14/11 Noon PST - The rehab facility just called me and my dad is having some more issues and he's being sent to the hospital Emergency Room.

Please think a good thought for my Daddy ...

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We saw my Dad at the rehab facility yesterday. It was unbearably heartbreaking. (I think I've said that my Dad is 92 and still works - he's always been active and his mind and wit are the quickest of anyone I've ever known.) This man of stature, of robust health, looks tiny and frail and is out in some other orbit right now. The dazzling blue eyes didn't look at us but at something his continually moving hands were after.

He spoke my husband's name at one point, asking for his cap for some reason only known to him, but didn't say mine. I asked him if he knew who we were and he said yes, that he recognized us immediately but then he asked if we were going to Oregon or Palm Springs, which we had no plans to go either place.

I got a call at 7:50 this morning from a nurse and she said that his oxygen numbers had dropped and the doctor had ordered another chest xray - we don't know the results yet. (He has COPD and apparently giving him just the right amount of oxygen is very tricky.)

My father has shut me and my husband out of the loop the past three years, choosing his girlfriend over us every time. I think his being such a private, private person and having us so involved in his life and his care, made him really feel his age and he thought we judged him incapable of taking care of his self, which we did not.

Every single bit of this is so very painful ...

6 comments:

  1. Oh, Sally. I am so so sorry. for the distance with your dad and for his decline right now. I don't know if this is the right thing to say, but my father-in-law (who was like a father to me) who was only 65 when he died four years ago from cancer, was not aware of us and very weak in the last days. But we all just took the time to tell him how much we loved him and wanted to do whatever we could for him...iremember as I hugged him he looked straight at me and said my name...It seemed he somehow knew he was going. You just can't help what happens, you want to do more, you just try to love the best you can. YOu are in my prayers.

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  2. Sally, I am so sorry things have not improved for your Dad. It's so hard to see things like this happen to our parents. I'll say a prayer for him and send Big hugs for you too.

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  3. I am just glad you are finally there with him. prayers coming your way

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  4. Darling, I so understand your pain. Have a similar situation with mama...it’s beyond hard I know. Be strong.

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  5. Sally,
    Sending you hope n' prays that you have better news soon~

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  6. Sally, just keep your heart and eyes turned toward God - he will take care of you all!

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