Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I'm so very tired of this roller coaster!


I am so dang confused and so very tired of being confused.

The last time I wrote I spoke about the ICU doctor painting the bleakest of pictures. Well ... the next morning when I visited the hospital, a Palliative Care doctor showed up to speak with me - I hadn't been told this would happen.

The good news with that visit was that she told us she thought my father would probably have "months" yet ... while the ICU doctor had said a couple of months and also said anything little thing could be too much for my father.

Things are (were?), moving at lightning speed ... yesterday afternoon we met with a Hospice Care company and signed up with them for Dad's care ... my father was to be reviewed for a day or two and if stable then released home to hospice care.

Well ...

I just got a call from my father's own private doctor and he said that there are still two procedures that the hospital can do for my father that may make him a bit better and feel better ... #1. a transfusion for his anemia, which the higher red blood count would help the oxygenation of his blood and #2, draining off the fluid around his lungs (which apparently my father has had done before and it was helpful).

So ... my dad's own private doctor is requesting the ICU staff to "treat whatever is reversable".

Well um, yeah!

I had thought that was the decision we came to with the ICU doctor.


And most importantly, my dad's own doctor said that my dad could have a breathing tube inserted for a short period of time and then have it removed and not be any worse than he currently is. (My dad's doctor is a heart doctor and he also had a pulminary [spellling?] specialist review my father's case.)


Why on earth did the ICU doctor tell us that my dad would never be able to have a tube removed, once one was inserted and that he'd be in a vegetative state???

I want to throttle someone right now - only I don't know who to throttle!

So we wait for those two procedures and see how my dad is and then if he is stable, the hospice company will accept him and he will go home and be under their care.

I feel slightly insane at this moment ...


  1. Oh, Sally. This is so hard. I am thinking about you, my friend, and sending you a big hug. xox

  2. I regret to hear you and family are having such a bad time. It is a shame to think, let alone say, but it has gotten to the point you cannot trust the doctors or preachers anymore. I trust that a high power steps in and turns things around for all of you. Take care.

  3. So sorry your enduring the professional nuttiness.
    I wonder what would happen if you corralled them in a conference room would probably get ugly.
    I've been in a somewhat similar situation, it's not easy.

  4. You must be so frustrated by the doctors. You have avery right to be going insane! Hope all goes well for your Dad with the procedures. Hang in there.

  5. OH, Sally, I feel so bad about all this and I do understand. When my dear father-in-law was in his last stages of his cancer, and at one point we were by his bedside for four days, we saw 4 different doctors who had near 4 differing prognosis...WHAT!??!, And I had gone to nursing school and could not average out together what they said. I remember telling my husband that I wanted to grab each of these "learned" people by the hand, put them in the same room with us and my FIL and hash it out amongst them. I also deplored that with each new healthprofessional that walked through the door, and I am sure at your dad's stage there are a good many, we were asked re-hash his whole health history each and every time. I sympathize and pray for your sanity, peace and your dear dad's healing.