Not doing so very great over here.
Oh boy howdy - am I ever in need of a day off from my life!
I've tried my best to not bemoan and air the family dysfunction I grew up in on here - to keep my blog insanity free bwahahhahhahha. Suffice it to say that this episode with my father is royally dredging up the past for me and I am in a lot of pain.
I keep showing up for a man that treated my mother like doggie doo, a man that seldom hung out with his family, choosing god knows whose company over ours - a man none of us could ever please.
And I'm still showing up, still doing that dance for daddy, the can't you love me daddy dance. And coming up short again.
OUCHERS times a gazillion!
His only interest is in this new woman who yesses him, spoils him ... a woman who doesn't understand the history of her acts and what is being played out, that she is just the understudy, my mother having created the role.
Such familiar territory. Such deep wounds.
So without further ado and a big sigh of relief, today is Do Whatever Sally Pleases Day over here!
May your midweek Hump Day be easy to climb over today and the view fantastic!
Oh boy howdy - am I ever in need of a day off from my life!
I've tried my best to not bemoan and air the family dysfunction I grew up in on here - to keep my blog insanity free bwahahhahhahha. Suffice it to say that this episode with my father is royally dredging up the past for me and I am in a lot of pain.
I keep showing up for a man that treated my mother like doggie doo, a man that seldom hung out with his family, choosing god knows whose company over ours - a man none of us could ever please.
And I'm still showing up, still doing that dance for daddy, the can't you love me daddy dance. And coming up short again.
OUCHERS times a gazillion!
His only interest is in this new woman who yesses him, spoils him ... a woman who doesn't understand the history of her acts and what is being played out, that she is just the understudy, my mother having created the role.
Such familiar territory. Such deep wounds.
So without further ado and a big sigh of relief, today is Do Whatever Sally Pleases Day over here!
May your midweek Hump Day be easy to climb over today and the view fantastic!
Do treat yourself...so well. I know what you mean about not getting into things on a blog though dear people are caring and reaching out, it is like blog time is for uplifting and encouragement and I like you, I try to keep it negatives-free. But I understand what you are sharing and why. I am glad to pray for you and your dad, family, and circumstances. I too have a difficult relationship with my father and have to say, you are handling your situation with all the love and care you can. To me you are emulating the scripture in Romans 12:18, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." I know I can't change my dad (though my heart may wish to see a change) but I know for sure I don't want my dad to change me, by me carrying bitterness (and this is a challenge). Sorry I have blathered on. Enjoy your "day!" dear Sally.
ReplyDeleteSally, you really deserve a day just for you-whatever you want and need to do. Enjoy it and try to do it often!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great day! We all need to vent sometime. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteSally - I am so sorry. I am sending you a bushel basket full of hugs, my friend. Use as needed. :) xoxoxoxox Pam
ReplyDelete