I miss my Dad.
I miss my life. It seems so very long ago now that I had my own life.
My days are consumed with my father's Estate and my utter and complete lack of knowledge in that arena. Hit a major bump this week with a whackadoo of an attorney that had to be dismissed. Long story.
My parents never got rid of anything, so there is much digging and sifting going on up at the house. Tons of old business brochures, invoices, etc., but I dare not just heave the lot, for treasure has been found lurking in the most unlikely of places. WAH! So very tedious and time consuming.
On Monday, I was shifting some books around - I thought I had already gone through all the books, but no, wait, what is this???! Another bit of gold, tucked away.
I found this wooden book and I thought it must be a souvenir from our trip to Yosemite when I was eleven years old, which would have been grand but it turned out to be even better!
I found the visitors diary from my maternal grandparents cabin in Washington. Sadly there are only a few pages of entries and most of the handwriting is so very pale, blending into the paper now. But oh! It makes my heart glad! Seeing family members names and family friends names, that I remember hearing stories about in my childhood.
For all the finding of stuff, there are things that sill elude me. I cannot find my mother's grandmother's baby doll, I cannot find the quilt my mother was making me or the quilted pillows she had made. I fear my father must have given things away without asking me.
But I did find the ceramic donkey that held buttons all my growing up years and up to my mother's passing. I found him "buttonless" and underneath the bathroom sink, half a house length from his real home in my parents house.
I think he owes his sad fate to the first two housekeepers my father had after my mom died. Two charming ladies, sisters-in-law, who not only were great maids, but would move things about and decorate and cheer up the house for my father. Little did they know that they were messing with my memories and would create a search for me of some nearly fifteen years to find this beloved object of my childhood.
Alas, he is now packed away in one of the GAZILLION boxes in my poor little eleven hundred square foot cracker box of a house. (My house resembles a warehouse these days. WAH!) When I find him again, I will take a photo and post it.
Hope this finds everyone well and happy! I miss you all! Thank you so much for hanging in there with me.
I understand exactly what you are going through. I have been the executor on so many family estates, that I refuse to ever do it again. Of course, in your case, it is different. Wish I could help you. Believe me, I have been and been through it. Time will take care of everything, but memories. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteWhat a treasure, and yes your're right-it gets even better with the messages from visitors.
ReplyDeleteAnn
I grew up the opposite way, Sally. There are very few things left from my childhood. No toys. Very few pictures. I'm glad you have these things to jog your memory. Just remember to stay hydrated while you are sorting! :)) I know it is so hard to sift through all of those things. Your normal life will surface here in a a few more weeks! hang in there! xoxo Pam
ReplyDeleteSally, I think of you often. I hope you are blessed beyond belief today. Love always, Twyla
ReplyDeleteI stand with you as well. Having closed down the family home of 45 years, then a flood in our own home in 2005, and then closing down my husband's mom home, it had been in the family for 80 years. It almost seemed as if the garage we built after the flood was just to house this stuff, since we had no stuff. But it has been a rewarding experience, just long. I would be so grateful to find actual trash in the belongings, so I could feel really good in throwing it away. I hope you find these moments too.
ReplyDeleteI know it must be bloody hard work and tons of tears for you...my dad left nothing...my mum threw everything away ...so sad. If you need advice ie. about where and how to sell everything you are not keeping when the time comes, let me know...I may be able to steer you in a couple of directions. all the very best. so sorry I have been a bad blogger but I am opening an Etsy store and it is taking up a big old hunk of time. Take care now and be gentle with yourself. Cynthia
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