Friday, April 29, 2011

Somehow the days pass

I'm finding each day so very hard. Every morning I am filled to overflowing with anxiety and I feel my heart break all over again.

My father's girlfriend moved out sometime early this morning. She didn't want us to come up and say goodbye to her, she wanted to be alone, leave quietly and shut the door on all the sadness.

We saw her yesterday and said our goodbyes, she of the stalwart, smiling face and me of the weeping mess.

She had grown to be a symbol for/facsimile of, my Dad to me the past six weeks and with her departure came the reality (once again) that my Dad is truly gone.

I do not know how people make it through such heartbreak.

And yet I also know that I have made it through myself before when my brother and mother passed away nine months apart. Something that I never thought I would get past, that the pain would never diminish, and somehow it did. I know it now.

So they must be right, that time heals. Broken hearts. Somehow.

I will try to hang onto that.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Happy Easter!

Long time no PEEP (hardy har har Easter jokie for you guys teehee! ... I know, GROAN!) out of me, I know! It's been so long that I had to put on my thinking cap and squinch up my face really hard to remember my password for my blog.

I've really been struggling a lot and haven't wanted to dump it all here on my blog. Please know I think of you all often and miss you. And I wanted to check in and say Hello and wish everyone a very Happy Easter!

I decided to "holiday-i-fy" a bit in the hopes of lifting my spirits ... you know, pretend as if and perhaps it will be. So the photo above is the bottom of my Easter feather tree but good grief, I couldn't get a decent picture of the rest to save my life. I am extremely camera challenged, woe is me.

I've invited my family to my father's country club for Easter Brunch, we've been going the past eight years or so - the club graciously said they'd love to have us, they all loved my Daddy. So it will be one last time there for us, at the place he loved so much.

Oh my gosh, the things I am finding up at my dad's house!!! I am fixed for life with items for Vintage Thingie Thursday! I found these two Easter cards to my father, from my brother and I ... given before I could write my own name as my brother has signed both of our names.

Wishing you all a wonderful Easter (hope those on Spring Break are having lots of fun!), hoping you can gather all your dear ones close and hold them near this holiday week.