it's the little things

Favorites of the heart.
A love of wee things shared by mother and daughter.

Please join in the fun on A Favorite Thing Saturdays
at Mockingbird Hill Cottage.

giving thanks

I thank you dear friends
for sharing in my life
the dark hours, the challenges
the struggles and the strife
the good times, the laughter
the love and the cheer
through all and all
I'm blessed you are near.

~Steve Myrvang

Happiest Thanksgiving to my dear friends in blogland!

a prayer of thanksgiving

for leaves of yellow and scarlet
for goldenrod's bright array

for crisp November breezes
and frisky squirrels at play

for misted mornings and velvet nights
for glowing harvest moon

for crickets tuneful chirping
on a sunny afternoon

for families gathered together
for marigolds in a bouquet
for bounty from earth to share

this blessed holiday

we're thankful
~Sheila Forsyth

farewell dear friend

Debbie and me

oh gosh.

My heart is burdened and broken with yet another profound loss. I found out yesterday that my very first childhood best friend passed away in 2010.

Debbie was an alcoholic and a drug addict.  I last spoke to her in 1994. The last straw in our relationship came for me when she chose drugs over her four year old son and abandoned him to her husband.

While out running errands, I would catch glimpses of her a few times later in 94 or 95, around the neighborhood with a shopping cart, like one of the many struggling or homeless in Los Angeles.  I would never see her again.

In the back of my mind, I always knew the chances of her still being with us were slim. Alcohol and substance abuse recovery rates are very very low and she had never been willing to admit she had a problem, let alone seek help.

But still the heart hopes.

November 8th would have been her 59th birthday.  She was continually on my mind. I felt her presence so strongly this month. 

And yesterday, I felt the need to see if I could find something out.  Thinking I was looking for a phone number or address online, I found instead, an obituary notice. In shock and disbelief, I logged onto my Ancestry.com account and it confirmed that she had passed away in April of 2010. 

The tears flow unabated, like Niagara Falls. Regret fills me.  I should have just been there.  No child grows up dreaming of being an alcoholic or an addict, or living a life hurting and disappointing those they love. I should have found a way to be there.

I don't know what happened to her, will most likely never know. I long to know she was loved and cared for.


I met Debbie in Kindergarten. She was blonde, full of life and fearless. I was brunette, scared of my own shadow and the description "painfully shy" was made for me.

Debbie's parents were fifty when she was born, her mom had been told that she would never have children and then SURPRISE!, here came Debbie.  Debbie was adored and doted on. Her father built her room sized Christmas scenes every holiday to enchant her.  Her mother made most of her clothes and all her Halloween costumes. For her sixth birthday, Dorothy made her a clown outfit for her birthday party that was at the TV show, Chucko the Clown - her outfit was identical to Chucko's. I remembered it to this day, she and Chucko together. 

I learned to swim with Debbie - I was petrified and she had nerves of steel. 

I wanted to take ballet because Debbie did - she'd been taking it since she was three. I longed to be a ballerina but after one day of a cranky instructor barking at my seriously-low-self-esteem-self, that was the end of my ballerina dreams.

Debbie was always the most popular. She was a friend to everyone and everyone wanted to be her pal.

Our friendship would wax and wane from 1959 to 1994, but she was always there. Her last gift of friendship to me was buoying my spirits and telling me I deserved so much better, when I (ironically) left my alcoholic ex-husband.


Love you always, dearest and best of friends! 

from Christmases past

Am I the only one in complete shock that it's nearly Christmas?!  Good googly moogly, how did that happen?! How can 2013 be just around the corner?

Sharing some vintage ephemera today for Rednesday - order forms for photo Christmas cards, found inside of old packages of photos processed at the drug store. 

Please join in the Rednesday fun with Sue at It's A Very Cherry World!

i spy with my little eye

I hope everyone had a great weekend, we had lots of fun!  We saw THREE movies (Argo, Skyfall and Lincoln), ate a lot of good food and attended Bill McKibben's Do The Math tour presentation here at UCLA (about climate change).

And I can find myself in the group photo they took at the event, how cool is that?! A husband and wife were wearing sunshine-y yellow jackets in front of us, so that made it easy to find me.  But the hubby got hidden behind someone, phooey!

moving forward

I find myself sick at heart and apprehensive. 

I read some blog comments after the election that shall we say, were less than gracious (understatement!).  I didn't know before that there were blogs that were so hateful of contrary beliefs. 

I labored under the false assumption that crafting/cooking/decorating, etc. blogs were benign and innocuous.  Yes, I could sense some bloggers political bents were the polar opposite of mine and that was fine because I didn't feel disparaged or disrespected. 

I chose to see the common ground we shared.

But after reading those ugly posts, my stomach aches and I wonder if there are those of you who would find me despicable because I am a Democrat and support President Obama?

If so, so be it. 

I wish you all good things. Elsewhere.


Moving forward ... What you see is what you get here.  I wear my heart on my sleeve. I believe in treating everyone with dignity and respect. Hoping we can meet on that common ground.

Please vote

spookification 2012 is running late

ARGH!  Well gosh.  Forever running late these days. 

I'm trying to get a few Halloween cards made and good gravy, it's taking days.  I feel as though I'm swimming in molasses ... or not even swimming ... I'm snail walking through molasses. Woe is me.

I like to send handmade cards to a few friends who enjoy handmade cards and I found this great photo of my maternal Great Grandmother with a broom to use for this years cards, so cool.  

My GGM is wearing a cap in the photo that makes me think of a Civil War military cap - does anyone know about period clothing?  She was born in 1870 and her parents were both born in 1842. I wonder what on earth this pose was about?

I probably shouldn't be on the computer, probably should be making those cards but I'm having such a hard time making myself do anything, other than pet the dogs and stare off into space ... my mind just wants to veg and wander around ... I guess that's grief again. 

My husband and I talk about how we can't get anything accomplished anymore, how we're just slugs. I wonder if this fog will ever lift?! 

Hope you're doing better at keeping on top your days than I am.  Wishing you all a Happy Halloweenie!

the old fogie family

   

So here we are, the old fogie family of four. I am a bit happy to say that the dogs are older than the hubby and I.  Sure glad someone is LOL! 

meet the woolly lump lumps

Look at this big galoot!  I've never seen a Golden this big.
He's a big smoosh.  Loves to always be at your side.

 She's a dainty little Miss, so petite.
She's shy and hesitant but starting to blossom
into a major snuggle bug.

They are so cute together.  They give each other kisses

and love to cuddle up.

 

vintage cookbooks

We went to the Antiquarian Book Fair in Pasadena, CA this morning. I thought I'd share a bit of two darling illustrated cookbooks I HAD TO HAVE.  I love cookbooks and illustrated ones, all the more.

First is Jolly Times Cookbook, Simple Recipes For Young Beginners by Marjorie Noble Osborn, published in 1934.  Made me smile!  Has the most darling illustrations throughout. 

The other cookbook that called out my name was this funny holiday cookbook from Peter Pauper Press, printed in 1950 - thought it would be cute to include in holiday decorating this year. 

  

 

Joining the following link parties in the coming days:

A Favorite Thing Saturday @ Mockingbird Hill Cottage

Rednesday @ Sue Loves Cherries

Vintage Thingie Thursday @ Colorado Lady

dog is my co-pilot

It's so very lonely and quiet for me over here.  The days are filled with tears.  Remembrances of Honey are everywhere.  I am filling up pages, writing down all the memories that come to mind. 

On Tuesday I wrote to the rescue where we adopted Honey and our two other Golden loves of our lives, telling them that we are forever grateful for finding us worthy and entrusting us with these gentlest of souls. 
 

Somehow the days pass.  I find that there has been a paradigm shift within me. 

I have never been one quick to recover from loss but now I feel an urgency, a sense that life is short and one should not tarry or put things off.  To open up my heart to what may come. 

So with that in mind, we embark on a journey on Sunday ... 

A journey to meet two senior Golden's, a much bonded pair, not wanting to leave each others side.  A boy and a girl, left by their owner at the veterinarian hospital to be euthanized when they still had golden days left to be lived in their lives.  A compassionate vet and staff and a call was issued from the vet's office to the rescue and the pair were rescued and placed with a foster family. 

When I was asked if we would consider a senior bonded pair, I felt the answer YES welling up in side me, like a tidal wave.  All I could think of was what if something had happened to us and our dear Honey had needed a home at 13 years old, who would have given her a loving one?  What will become of all those wonderful woofies with so much love and companionship still to give?! 

On Sunday we shall see if we are all meant to be together and be given the gift of sharing our lives with this boy and this girl, and provide them with a home to spend the rest of their days in love and dignity.   

Thank you to everyone for your care, kind words, thoughts and prayers.  I am so grateful for your friendship.  You are all very dear to me.

Please give all your furry friends (and gilled and feathered and scaled ones, etc. too!) a hug and a kiss in memory of my sweet Honey. 

i miss her so

SQUIRREL!

Our dear Honey loved to watch and chase the squirrels.  We could say "squirrel" and she'd go flying out the doggie door to the backyard.  She'd manage to scamper a few feet up the olive tree, barking at the squirrel/squirrels (sometimes there were two at a time). The squirrel would "bark" back at her ... well it might have been a chuckle the squirrel uttered. 

It makes me smile to think of Honey saying this ...

"You're my angel on earth.
I'm your angel in heaven.
Nothing makes me happier.
Except for a squirrel angel floating by."
~ Elaine Seamans

Wishing you lots of squirrel angels, dearest friend!

so leave awhile

So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.

~ Robinson Jeffers, "The House Dog's Grave"

 

I see you everywhere,
dearest girl, best friend.
You are forever in my heart.
Miss Licky Loo, Honey Bun Bun.

our doggie is very ill

Update Tuesday 3:15 PM

My husband just called from work - he received a call from the vet, they don't think Honey will make it much longer.  He is racing home and we will go and make our goodbyes to our beloved girl.

My heart is breaking ...

------------------------------


Update Tuesday 09/18/12 8:45 AM -


We are on a terrible roller coaster ride. 

We visited Honey late afternoon yesterday and she was very much improved, compared to Sunday. Her cough was looser and more productive. She wanted to come home with us so much, broke our hearts. We were elated and very encouraged.

We received a call at one o'clock in the morning last night. Telling us that, as we had been forewarned, Honey was much worse. SOB!!!!!!!  They asked permission to place something in her vein to be more able to monitor the oxygen in her blood and make sure she was getting enough oxygen and facilitate their being able to respond to her needs.

We were told the next 24 hours will be the key. 

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, I am so grateful and appreciative.  Thank you for your friendship and care.  Please keep sending out those healing vibes, thoughts and prayers for our dear Honey. 


------------------------

Edited to add 10 AM:  The vet just called.  Honey has pneumonia from aspirating her food. They had to put her on oxygen.  They are aggressively treating the pneumonia. It takes 2 to 3 days to fully present itself.  She will most likely get worse before she has a chance to get better. The next couple of days are crucial for her.

They are going to do further tests to determine why she has the mega esophagus condition.  If she makes it through the pneumonia, this will be a life long condition for her, requiring continual testing and follow up visits as the possibility of aspirating her food again and subsequent bacterial pneumonia will always exist.

The abdominal ultra sound showed she does have some foreign matter in her stomach.  They are going to treat the pneumonia first, while doing further testing on her esophagus and will hope that the foreign matter has passed through her system at that time. If not, they will do an endoscopy and remove it. 

They believe the esophagus condition and the matter in the stomach, are unrelated.

SOB SOB SOB - needing lots of hugs over here!

--------------------

We had to take our doggie to the vet Sunday morning - she had an episode of vomiting that went on through the night.  The third vet at our veterinary hospital was as flummoxed as the previous two as to the origin of our Honey's nausea.  This has been going on for months now.  We left with yet another "possible" thing that could be the cause and yet another bunch of prescriptions. 

Honey proceeded to get worse as the day turned into night ... her symptoms now included a strange cough.  We left for the Emergency Hospital at nine last night, getting there at 9:20 and staying until after 2:00 in the morning.

Honey's cough got even worse in the nearly five hours we were there and her breathing became labored. So she has spent the night where they could monitor her around the clock and give her oxygen, keep her hydrated, etc. 

Turns out she has something wrong with her esophagus and that because of that, she probably aspirated some of her food and that she most likely has pneumonia - even though the chest xray showed none (apparently there is a "lag time" with xrays!).

The questions remain, why she has been having these bouts of nausea, why something is wrong with her esophagus??  They will do new chest xrays this morning and she'll have an abdominal ultra sound this morning to see if there are any clues to be found there.  Of course the "C" word came up.

I am so afraid she won't make it.  sniffle sniffle sniffle ...

Please please please if you can spare any good thoughts, prayers for our beloved Honey Bun Bun, it mean the world to me. 

March 2011
Honey came to lay with me in bed and console me
after my daddy passed away.  She had a trip through
the sprinklers first LOL.